February 12, 2001
Thanks to generous word of mouth, or perhaps the current lack of industriousness in the advertising community at large, it seems my readership has increased dramatically these last weeks, and for this, I am appreciative. It is heartening to know that my words are being read by more than the mouth-breathing, child-pornography collecting "netizens" who only happen upon my little endeavor out of a misguided Yahoo! search for any and all documents containing the verb/adjective/explicative "fucking." Still, I must admit that this newfound "success" has brought with it a certain melancholia, the reasons for which I will share with you now.

To begin, when I began this tawdry endeavor some months ago, my goals were simple. After many years in the advertising business, and with my future secure thanks to what my accountants assured me were lucrative and secure investments in the burgeoning technology and internet retailing fields, I sought nothing more than a means to exorcise the bile which this industry had fed over the many years it enveloped me. All of this that you see now was nothing more than a means to whittle away the minutes between happy hours. There was no "business plan." No source of "income generation." It served as my therapy, a means to soothe a battered soul, and nothing more.

Now, however, a certain darkness has begun to creep over my once carefree existence. Frantic messages from those who I entrusted with my nest egg have informed me that the "dot-com" industries which I so counted on to multiply my wealth twelveth-fold have fallen upon hard times. Heads are rolling, as well they should, but with them, much of my fortunes have been placed in abject peril, if not already lost. While admittedly, here in my jungle retreat, provisions are cheap and the whisky which medicates my evenings is served gratis by a nubile young barmaid who never tires of my company, this recent turn of events has given me reason to reconsider my current path. In fact, I must even admit to occasionally harboring thoughts of somehow returning to the industry I have so publicly forsaken, as the freelance income it offers is enticing to say the least.

And it is with such thoughts burrowing through my mind that I now even must look upon this endeavor here with a new perspective. What do I truly seek to accomplish with my various rantings, I find myself asking? Have I become nothing more than a dancing monkey, offering free amusement to the masses with no need for recompense? Alas, perhaps it is time I gave up this folly, and acknowledge that for all of my mockery, advertising is a beast which will, in the end, have the best of us all. Perhaps I should prostitute this very site, in fact, and allow anyone willing enough of offer up a few coins to have their way with it, providing room for banners, "pop ups" or anything else that will pay for my time and expense. How richly ironic that might be. Perhaps I could even sell this valuable space here, and shill for highest bidder. While it would go against all that I hold dear, there are more important things than one’s principles, rest assured. A steady and viable income being high on that list.

I am rambling now, I am well aware. I apologize for my dire tone, it must be the fever. And no decision as to the fate of this endeavor or my very being will be made today. But there may soon come the time when decisions will have to be made. A day of reckoning, if you will. So please, enjoy the fruits of my labor while you can.

—The Editor
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