December 10, 2001
HOME
 ADWEAK STORE THE EDITOR SPEAKS ARCHIVE F.A.Q. CONTACT
SAN FRANCISCO— In a recent meeting, Saturn executives nearly fainted when Publicis & Hal Riney Advertising surprised them with an appearance by the former head of the shop. Senior Management Partner David Lushkin introduced Hal Riney to the stunned marketing group in a status meeting last week in what insiders are calling “an act of desperation to keep the business.”

As the status meeting was about to end, Mr. Lushkin proudly rose and told the group of auto execs, “We have found the perfect person to help lead Saturn into future.” The room fell silent as the man with the golden voice entered the room as Lushkin pronounced, “Ladies and gentlemen, Mr. Hal Riney.”

But the gush of adoring applause the agency had anticipated never quite materialized. Instead, the Saturn executives stared blankly at Mr. Riney until the awkward moment was broken by one client who said, “I thought he was dead.” Soon others chimed in with the same reaction. As it turned out, most, if not all, Saturn management had not been around when Mr. Riney helped launch the car company, and as a result, simply assumed the man had passed on.

“I thought the guy had kicked the bucket a long time ago,” said one anonymous Saturn V.P. “I mean, Christ, he was like 90 when I was still in high school.” Others echoed a similar sentiment. “I gotta admit, I thought he was dead as well,” said Saturn marketing exec, Katherine Williams. “What about that Ogilvy guy? He’s dead, right?” she asked.

The return of the veteran agency head was intended to show Saturn that Publicis is serious about keeping the account and will even go as far as luring the aging adman out of retirement. But unfortunately, most of the Saturn team is too young to remember Mr. Riney’s work. “He seems like a nice old guy and all, but I’ll be honest, right now I’m leaning towards Goodby,” said Saturn V.P. of Advertising, Martin Flynn. “They showed us Hal’s reel and I was thinking to myself ‘Geez, I was like 6 years old when these spots ran’,” he added.

In spite of the fact that some Saturn executives sincerely believe Mr. Riney is indeed deceased and that the agency has created an animatronic of the founder, a spokesperson for Publicis said that the agency still believes in what the return of Mr. Riney can bring to the pitch. “Hal’s presence, as creepy as some may find it, is the right thing to do,” stated the spokesperson.