"I am building a moat." -The Editor (FULL TEXT)
FCB Apparently Now Just Daring Taco Bell To Fire Them.
SAN FRANCISCO— Recent spots for Taco Bell, featuring confusing high-tech descriptions of food, a CEO from an online bookseller and an inane tagline confirm suspicions that FCB is now just begging Taco Bell to pull the plug on the relationship. Said one industry insider, “Well it’s quite obvious that the agency didn’t sincerely believe they were creating great work. I think they’re just seeing how bad they can be before they get canned. It’s probably like a game to the creatives now.” It is believed that FCB has been using this strategy to get fired for some time, dating back to the incredibly annoying “Zesty” spot. But as of now, they’ve been unsuccessful.


Y&R Launches Youth Marketing Division, Y&R Extreme.
NEW YORK— In an attempt to be able to better communicate to the cutting edge 12 to 24 year old market, Y&R is launching a dedicated group called Y&R Extreme. The new youth-based division will be headed by Creative Director Jeremy Daniels 42, and Senior Planner Tom Zeckeris, 44. New office space within the agency is already underway. “We’re painting the space wacky colors and have ordered a Nintendo 64 and Sega Saturn for the conference room,” said Zeckeris. Y&R Extreme staff will be allowed to wear shorts on Thursdays in addition to Fridays and can play music on personal boom boxes after 4:30. “Our advertising will include youth-oriented catchphrases such as ‘Yo, what up’ and ‘Keep it real, G’,” said Daniels.


Agencies Busy Adding “United We Stand” Title Card To Existing Commercials.
CHICAGO— Post production facilities have been flooded with work in the wake of the September 11th terrorists attacks as agencies re-edit existing spots to include some sort of patriotic message. DDB Needham Account Executive Margaret Stanovich said “we wanted to let people know that not only are Honey Bunches of O’s part of a complete, balanced breakfast, but that the brand is sensitive to what’s going on.” “Adding a “United We Stand” title card was a terrific way to do just that,” she added.


Kinkos Marketing Executives Looking Forward To Months Of Agency Groveling And Blatant Ass-Kissing.
LOS ANGELES— As Kinkos embarks on an agency search, sources close to the copy king say that the high-level marketing execs there are anxious to be wined and dined by prospective shops. The 20 to 40 million dollar account is likely to have ad agencies pulling out all the stops in their attempt to woo the business. GSD&M has already begun the boot-licking process by promising the Kinkos execs a planning excursion to the Seychelles Islands. “Right now, we’re just trying to get an idea of what kind of jewelry they like and if there are any sporting events they would care to attend so we can make an informed decision on what graft we’re going to send over, “ said an un-named agency new business director.
SAN DIEGO— Marketing executives at computer maker Gateway dismiss accusations that their new campaign featuring a talking Holstein cow is “totally different” from a nearly identical campaign for Real California Cheese. Both campaigns center around special-effects-aided talking cows but according to a Gateway spokesperson, the two have little in common and will certainly not confuse viewers in any way.

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