|
Ad Criticism & Blatantly Fake News |
|
Vol. 3, No, 6 00000 | 000000October 7, 2002
|
|
 |
|
|
|
|
|
Y&R Creatives Trying To Keep Low Profile As First Assignments For Mattel Are Handed Out.
IRVINE— After winning the bulk of the Mattel toy account, creatives at Y&R/Irvine are said to be “keeping their heads down” as assignments from the historically tough client begin to work their way through the agency. Said art director Becky Rose, “Good Lord, I hope (ECD John) Doyle knows I’m swamped with Lincoln or whatever. That toy stuff is career poison. Maybe I can get the direct mail group to give me something just to keep me busy.” Her partner concurred. “The last thing I need is to be told to start thinking like ‘more like Barbie,’” said copywriter Matt Stofel. “And the focus groups of 10-14 year olds? Hell on Earth, my friends, hell on Earth. I’ve gotta start looking busy, pronto.”
New Saturn Campaign Presented To Isuzu Two Years Ago.
SAN FRANCISCO— Creatives at new Saturn agency Goodby Berlin & Partners are said to be secretly congratulating themselves on producing a “new” campaign for the automaker that was, in fact, part of a presentation to longtime client Isuzu “at least two years ago.” According to ACD Andrea Stein, “The ad hopper paid off big time on this one. When we won the account, I told Goodby we had enough unsold work floating around to last us at least a year or two. I think he thought I was joking, but here we are. Thank God for huge computer hard drives.” In light of its success, members of the agency’s collateral department are now said to be busily resizing and replacing logos on previously presented car-toppers. “We’re even using some old Carl’s Jr. stuff,” said art director Tammi Dyer. “It was just going to waste, anyway, so why not. Right?”
Creative Team Asks New Employer To Refer To Them In Press Simply As “The Teds.”
CHICAGO— Stating “It’s all about branding yourself,” art director Ted Sammuals and copywriter Teddy Takeshita, recently hired at Ogilvy/Chicago, have instructed the agency’s pr department to refer to the team simply as “the Teds” in all news releases regarding their employment. Said Sammuals, “I think the mystique will do us good. Maybe people will think we’re Swedish, like Tractor or something. That’d be cool.” Added Takeshita, “We figure it’ll help the agency out in new business presentations too. They can tell prospective clients that the Teds are onboard and working on their account. Clients love that kind of stuff.” Not all Ogilvy creatives appear to be so enthusiastic towards the self-proclaimed “Ted-a-bration,” however. Said longtime sr. copywriter Nick Camerra, “Where’d they come from, like Grey or someplace? Jesus, if they want a name, how about ‘the Dickheads.’ That’s what we’re calling them anyway.”
Copywriter Eats Food On Shoot Before Crew, Gets Ass Kicked.
LOS ANGELES— DDB/LA jr. copywriter Greg Neilsen is said to be in stable condition and resting comfortably after enduring a “jailhouse knuckle party” at the hands of approximately 27 hungry and heavily tattooed grips and P.A.s. The assault took place on the set of a recent shoot for client Wells Fargo Bank, where Neilsen attempted to be served lunch before the hard-working crew had been served, in defiance of long-standing production protocol. Said producer Nina Soto, “I tried to tell him to hold his horses, but he just wouldn’t listen. These kids. There are rules for a reason, and when your dealing with a crew who’s been working since sunrise and self-medicating with who knows how much bathtub crank so we can stick to our shot list, these things will happen. To be honest, we’re just happy no one got injured. Well, besides Greg of course. But that’s why he has medical insurance, and they don't.”
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
 |
|
NEW YORK— On the heels of rival agency BBDO’s newly revised logo treatment, executives at New York-based D’Arcy have announced they too will soon adopt a “revitalized” logo design they hope will “pump some life into this walking cadaver of an agency.” According to sources, the new logo is the result of over two year’s labor to date, and over $3,400,000 in design, research and development costs.
|
|
| ADWEAK is a not-for-profit satirical website produced by Adweak.com, and is in no way associated with ADWEEK® magazine or its various associated publications. All content should be considered fictional, written solely for the purposes of satire and entertainment, and no factual basis to the content is implied or should be inferred. ADWEAK uses invented names in all of its stories, except in cases when public or well-known figures and entities from the advertising industry or the world at large are being satirized. Any other use of real names is accidental and coincidental. The copy text of this website is © Copyright 2002 by Adweak.com, and may not be reprinted or retransmitted in whole or in part without the expressed written consent of the publisher. ADWEAK is not intended for readers under 18 years of age, or those misguided souls who, lacking outside hobbies, dating opportunities or a fully developed sense of perspective, are determined to take this absurdly self-absorbed industry seriously. |
|
|
