"Look what I got." -The Editor (FULL TEXT)
Chiat/Day CD Chuck McBride
Asks To See Lee Clow's Book.
PLAYA DEL REY— Just weeks after being named worldwide creative director at TBWA Chiat/Day, Chuck McBride surprised staffers by asking to see everyone's book, including that of Lee Clow. The move came as the new creative director begins planning for the new year. "I want to see what kind of talent I'm dealing with here," proclaimed Mr. McBride. "And the only way to do that is to take a look at portfolios." McBride went on to defend his inclusion of creative guru Lee Clow in his evaluation, saying, "I know Lee's done some great work in the past, but what has he done lately? With a few spec ads and some hard work I'm sure we can bring his book up to date," he added. Agency sources say that Mr. Clow has been spotted in the art studio late at night gathering re-prints of old Porsche ads for the upcoming meeting with McBride.


Specially-Designed
Complementary T-Shirt Fails
To Convince Client To Hand
Agency $40 Million Account.
NEW YORK— In spite of handing out t-shirts with the proposed new tagline for Hartford Bank in a new business meeting, Kirschenbaum Bond & Partners was not awarded the business. The white shirts, which read "Your Future is Safe With Us" in a green Bodoni typeface, were proudly given to all the Hartford clients at the end of the pitch. V.P. of Marketing for Hartford Bill Collins said, "I wouldn't have minded getting a t-shirt, but they crapped it up with that terrible tagline." Agency co-founder Jonathon Bond made no apologies for the shirts, saying, "We like to break out of the box and do things that are unexpected. Who else gives out t-shirts at the end of a pitch,,. huh?" Bond later learned that every agency in the pitch had T-shirts printed as well.


Goodby Silverstein Unwilling To
Accept End Of Nike Relationship.
SAN FRANCISCO— Long after Nike severed its ties with Goodby Silverstein & Partners, a spokesperson for the shoe company told reporters that the agency "just can't seem to move on." Said Nike representative Zach Reils, "It's getting kind of creepy. They keep calling and hanging up, sending notes to Phil [Knight] saying that 'they can change,' and the other day we saw Jeff Goodby driving back and forth past the building." Nike spent a short trial period with GS&P before returning to its longtime agency Wieden & Kennedy. When asked about the accusations, Jeff Goodby said, "We're going through some difficult times right now, that's all. They just need some time to themselves. We'll work it out." Mr. Goodby denied, however, standing in the company's parking lot at two in the morning screaming "if we can't have you, nobody will."


Associate Creative Director
Attempts To Cast Self As "Voice
Of Honda."
SANTA MONICA— ACD Joe Crandall strongly recommended a new voice for Honda in a team status meeting last week. Crandall played an audition tape of a man named "Steve Over" for a stunned account team who quickly realized that "Steve Over" was actually Crandall auditioning for the part under an assumed name. Said Crandall "I didn't think they'd consider it if they knew it was me so I made up the name Steve Over." Account Supervisor Stacey Hotchens said "My God it was awful. There was no timing and the inflection was pathetic. He even mispronounced 'fuel efficiency'. It was fucking hilarious." Crandall, however, did not find the experience quite so humorous. Crandall became enraged, screaming, "Fuck all of you. I want to be the voice of Honda God Dammit," as he grabbed the tape from the machine and stomped out of the conference room.
First, the bad news. Whether it’s because
television ads have all reached such a
base-level wretchedness that fewer and
fewer are truly distinguishing themselves
as the belles of the ugly ball, or everyone
is simply waiting for the Super Bowl to
unveil their latest dreck, I know not
which. But once again, nothing I
witnessed via my elaborate satellite
hookup this past week galled me to the
point of venting a reaction here. However,
this is not to say that the rest of this space
will be taken up with a token rambling on
the state of the advertising world or other
such drivel. No, not when there are so
many strikingly incomprehensible print
ads out there so in need of a response.
So let’s get on with the lynching, shall we?

(FULL TEXT)

ADWEAK is a not-for-profit satirical web site produced by Adweak.com, and is in no way associated with ADWEEK® magazine or its various associated publications. All content should be considered fictional, written solely for the purposes of satire, and no factual basis to the content is implied or should be inferred. ADWEAK uses invented names in all of its stories, except in cases when public figures and entities from the advertising industry or the world at large are being satirized. Any other use of real names is accidental and coincidental. The text of this web site is © Copyright 2001 by Adweak.com, and may not be reprinted or retransmitted in whole or in part without the expressed written consent of the publisher. ADWEAK is not intended for readers under 18 years of age, or those misguided souls who, lacking outside hobbies, dating opportunities or a fully developed sense of perspective, are determined to take this absurdly self-absorbed industry seriously.