ACD Informs Team That Client Liked
Their Work, But Preferred His Work.
SAN FRANCISCO— Returning from a day-long creative presentation at Saturn headquarters, Publicis/Hal Riney & Partners ACD Chad Brabeck reluctantly informed a team working under him that while the client "loved their stuff," in the end, the decision was made to approve another campaign created by Brabeck himself instead. As he later explained, "It was really out my hands. They liked everything we presented, they really did. But for some reason, they just took to mine a little more." While he could find no particular reason why his campaign was green-lighted at the expense of other work, Brabeck reasoned, "It was one of those things. If I could have sold someone else’s work, trust me, I would have. But now I think we should stop thinking of ourselves, and think of the agency. The client’s happy, and that's all that matters. I think we all won."

McCann Regretting Massive Purchase
Of Gateway Computers.
NEW YORK— Still reeling from Gateway Computers’ decision to put their $200 million account into review, McCann Erickson officials revealed that the fateful decision came just days after the agency had placed a 800 unit order with the former client as a sign of commitment to the account. Said agency VP Helen McGuire, "Those fucking bastards. We spend upwards of $1,000,000 on computers we didn’t even really need, and they go and pull this shit. I knew we should have gone with Dell." While Gateway officials appreciated the McCann order, they stood firm in moving ahead with the review. Said a representative, "McCann has purchased some excellent hardware at a truly competitive price, so I really don’t see what the fuss is about. But just to make sure there’s no hard feelings, we’ll toss in a few free mouse pads. That should cheer them up. No harm done."

Richards Group Revises Rigid Dress
Code To Include Veils For Female Employees.
DALLAS— Declaring "casual clothing leads to casual thinking," Richards Group head Stan Richards announced Friday that the strict agency dress code, which currently bans blue jeans and requires male employees to wear ties, has been amended with a provision requiring female employees to wear dark veils, or a "similar face-covering garment" at all times. Said Mr. Richards, "All I ask is that these gals look respectful. That hedonistic lip-coloring they like to wear sends the wrong message to our clients. I’m running an agency here, not a goddamn bordello."

Smaller Than Expected Fruit Basket
Forces Media Planner To Reconsider
Multi-Million Dollar TV Buy.
LOS ANGELES— Shocked by the "less than spectacular" fruit basket sent by ABC representatives, Rubin Postaer & Associates media planner Alicia Tanner has declared that she’s reconsidering a media plan which would have recommended inclusion of "Dharma & Greg" and "20/20." in this year’s Honda media buy. Said Ms. Tanner, "I was a little put off, to be honest. There were a few bananas, an orange, a couple apples and that was it. No cashews or anything." While stating that "nothing’s definite," she’s waiting to see what NBC and CBS have to offer before forwarding recommendations to Honda management, adding, "The bar's been set pretty low. A couple bottles of wine and a few imported cheeses, and we could be looking at a Honda-sponsored "Frazier." You just never know."