Leo Burnett Layoffs Unlikely To Have
Any Effect On Already Substandard
Work, Says Agency Exec.
CHICAGO— After issuing pink slips to over 200 employees, agency GM Tom Wagner said they are confident they can keep the quality of work at it's current substandard level. "How difficult is it to do Kellogg's ads?" he asked,adding, "I mean it's not like our clients are demanding breakthrough advertising here. The bar is pretty low." Creative department staffers agreed with Mr. Wagner's positive outlook. Senior Art Director Susan Dauchy said, "I can knock out an extra Vidal Sassoon ad in 10 minutes. A shot of a beautiful woman running her fingers through her hair, a headline that says something like 'Shine, Sheen and Bounce' and there you go." Mr. Wagner told reporters that the only difference clients will see is that instead of a dozen or so Burnett staffers in a meeting, there will only be 9 or 10.

In Spite Of Agency Philosophy,
Ground Zero Yet To Do Ads That
Don't Look Like Ads.
MARINA DEL REY— Despite a long-held agency mantra of "doing ads that don't look like ads," co-founder Court Crandall admitted that his agency hasn't quite come through on their promise. "Every ad we do ends up looking like an ad," he said. Ground Zero had experimented with ads that defied conventional advertising wisdom but found the approach to be unsuccessful. "We did a campaign for a snowboard company which just had a photo of a boarder in mid-air. There was no headline, no copy and no logo, just the photo," said Mr. Crandall. "The problem was, people just thought it was a cool picture. They had no idea it was an ad for a snowboard company." The creative shop's clients, while supportive of Ground Zero's efforts, are even less willing to take a chance on the "ads that don't look like ads" approach. Said one anonymous client, "We sort of like people to know who we are and what we're selling. It's fairly crucial to the marketing process."

Agencies Running Out Of Ways To
Make Creating Ads Seem More
Complicated.
NEW YORK— At a recent AAAA luncheon, DDB Chairman Ken Kaess told attendees that the industry needs to take a closer look at how it convinces clients to pay exorbitant retainer fees. "Clients are becoming more skeptical about the lengthy process of creating advertising," he said. "They are not longer willing to accept the short answer of 'great work takes time'." Mr. Kaess urged agencies to be creative in its explanation to clients about the process. He told them to "come up with elaborate systems by which you create ads and then give that system a catchy name like 'Brand Soul Search' or something that gives clients the indication that it's a valuable tool in the success of their company." Mr. Kaess's speech seemed to make sense to many in attendance. Said one agency planner, "I can't wait to get started on coming up with another way to say we're doing focus groups. Perhaps we can tell clients we're doing an in-depth Brand Re-Invention Analysis. I don't really know what it means yet, but it sure sounds expensive."

Blind Teaser Ads Successful In Wasting 1/4 Of Client's Production Budget.
SAN FRANCISCO— An outdoor teaser campaign for a new iced tea drink by Publicis/Hal Riney and Partners has been labeled a complete failure by the unhappy client. David Wolf, CEO of Wolf Beverages said "The agency guaranteed me that the boards (which merely read "Are You Thirsty?") would have people all over the Bay Area talking about them." But that's not exactly what happened, admits Riney strategic planner, Jennifer Bird. "We thought people would talk about the boards around the watercooler at work and that radio station DJs would discuss the teasers on their show," she said. "We misjudged the level of disinterest among consumers," she added. There was no word on how the agency and client plan to move forward following the debacle but said Wolf "Someone owes me some fucking money."